Sunday, November 11, 2012

Baby Step #1

Welp, here it is. My blog. While I'm hoping to make this blog entertaining and even a little enlightening, I want to give you fair warning that this may not be one of those blogs demonstrating how naturally talented and creative I am, because life really doesn't come that easy for me. I'm just...well, ordinary. In fact, I am a pretty (alright, really) bad procrastinator, and it seems like I have a natural aversion to accomplishing anything.

This is something I've REALLY been trying to work on, which is really what I wanted to create this blog about. I think I'm one of the people on Pinterest that spends hours a day fantasizing about what everyone else does, while thinking, "Wow! I wish I had the time/talent/resources/energy to do that. Maybe someday after     (fill in the blank)   ."  But someday doesn't come, and whatever that blank was came and went.

I have this burning desire in my heart, a obsessive drive in my soul to achieve.  I want to be great at literally everything, and I beat myself up for not doing it.  I want to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect housekeeper, the perfect Christian, the perfect chef, the perfect friend; I want to be perfectly organized, and perfectly prepared, and perfectly patient, and perfectly healthy, and in perfect shape.....your getting the picture, right?  And while all my goals are nobles ones, my irrationally high standards become crippling to me to the point where most things seem to hopeless to even try. Silly I know, but that is life in my world.

 I'm pretty sure when most people think of perfectionists, they think of people who are really organized and do everything right. I doubt to many people think of the failing perfectionists like me who who to desperately want to be a perfectionist to the point of obsession....but it never gets executed. Like ever.

My 'perfectionism' involves me tossing around an idea for months.  I'll probably talk about it to my mom and my husband. Maybe a few close friends. I'll plan out every little detail in my head until there is nothing left to figure out, every t has been crossed, and every i has been dotted.  IF I managed to mitigate the complications, I give it a whirl (which usually end in a failed attempt) but realistically most things never make it past a whim *sigh*

So I guess now that I've talked about my blog for months and thought about it 3 times that, I guess it's time to take a leap.  BUT I'm hoping with my blog that I will get a small 'support group'. if you will, to help encourage me in my journey and keep me from giving up.  Of course, in return I will share my progress of what worked for me and maybe even what didn't, and hopefully inspire others who may need a little coaxing. So let's saddle up, and let the journey begin.

Sincerely,
Wanna-be Molly



"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome" - author unknown



2 comments:

  1. A blog is a great way to give yourself public accountability ~ but remember, you aren't really accountable to us ;). I'm excited for future posts and have you on my reading list so if I don't see a post a week you'll be hearing from me :)

    I have a friend who recently started a blog as well, it's similar in nature to some of the things you mentioned and I think you should check it out: myprojectpure.blogspot.com.

    This is also a really good article that has helped me out of a similar rut:
    http://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/08/overcoming-feelings-of-inadequacy?lang=eng&query=inadequacy

    Good luck with your goals!

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  2. I am so excited for you. Because it's your blog you can write what you want, express yourself. It's fun. It's a great way to vent. For me, it's become my journal which at year's end, I send to blog2print and have it printed and bound and it sits on the shelf. But oddly, I look back on what i wrote more often than i do with my written journals. Good for you You only have to please yourself.

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